When their children are bullied, lower-ranking parents teach their children to say “it doesn’t matter”, while higher-ranking parents let their children “don’t bother”

2022-04-26 0 By

When children are bullied, different parents have different ways to do it.Some parents do not want to make trouble, will be minor, teach baby said “it doesn’t matter”.Some parents will be angry to find teachers, find parents, make things big, not to give their children tone of contention.Some parents, that can not be, should fight fire with fire, encourage children to fight back.On this issue, I have always adhered to the principle of “neither making trouble nor being afraid of trouble”.It is low-level parents who teach children to say “it’s ok”, which will only make children not know how to protect themselves, dare not defend their rights and interests, become cowardly, develop a pleaser personality, and the possibility of being bullied again is greater.The theory of looking for teachers and parents is right, but it is easy to reduce the children’s impression in the heart of the teacher, and at the same time affect the harmony of the two families. After all, children in the same school, usually see, hurt the harmony is not good.Encourage baby to fight back, to violent violence, let the baby out of tone, but the symptoms not the root cause, may also mislead the child, let the child think that violence can solve all problems, easy to develop irritable, overbearing character.Senior parents in the baby is bullied, will do so, let the baby “can not afford to”!How can parents gracefully intervene when their children are being bullied?I believe that the first reaction of most parents when they learn that their child is being bullied is to get angry and want to find the “bad kid” and teach him a lesson.But, if you think about it, isn’t that the reverse?When someone else’s child has done something wrong, his parents should educate him. Why should we steal the show?It’s more important to take care of your children’s emotions.First observe how the child behaves when bullied by others.If the child does not care, do not feel that they are short-changed, or the child’s attitude is good, has forgiven the bully that child, parents do not have to intervene too much.It is good that children have the ability to regulate their emotions.If the child feels wronged, upset, angry, and extremely depressed about being bullied, parents should pay attention.Do not indiscriminately blame children, continue to beat their own children, but calmly ask children what happened.Give the child a message: mom and dad care about your feelings, you have any grievances can feel free to say.Only with the parents’ firm feedback will the child retell the story without reservation.During this period, parents should be more patient and do not interrupt their children easily.Wait for the child to finish, but also stand in the child’s point of view empathy: “That you must be very sad?”By doing this, one can clearly know why children are bullied, and the other can understand their feelings and better communicate with them.Review the whole process of the whole thing, it is necessary to further guide the child to speak out their true thoughts.”What did you want to do when you were being bullied?”‘I’ll hit him too!’Never play with him again!”Tell mom, Dad and the teacher.””If he apologizes, I can forgive him.”If the child’s idea is not reasonable, parents do not have to be in a hurry to deny it.First let the child to vent their inner emotions, and then analyze the unreasonable place with the child, in order to develop their ability to think independently.I emphasize that parents should not take the lead and make decisions for their children in the case of bullying.When discussing solutions to problems, don’t say “Mom and Dad will…”Instead, ask “How would you like your parents to help you?”Because the target of bullying is the child, parents can not always protect their children.The child must acquire a solution to the problem through some degree of participation in learning so that when the same situation arises again, he will have the confidence and confidence to deal with it.Know after what had happened and children thoughts, parents can move, give the child set several scenarios and gives his own advice: one, if only a little conflict between classmates, did not involve the principles and the bottom line, just try to take the way of peace to solve, point out that each other’s mistakes and demanded an apology: “it is wrong to do so, you want to apologize to me!”Second, if the other party is indifferent to the warning and wants to continue to hit, it is necessary to resist, grasp the hand of the other party, put away from their own body, or protect their head and face, and then quickly run to safety, away from the attacker, if necessary, can fight back.Three, if the other party is emotional, still hot pursuit, and they are unable to resist or escape, however, it is necessary to tell the teacher in time, seek the protection of adults, to avoid further damage.When Eva was bullied, high-order parents won’t teach said “it doesn’t matter”, but will soothe the child’s emotions, understanding and sympathy for the child, and let the child understand that bullying is not their fault, give children sufficient affirmation and support, after further inspire the children themselves to solve the problem, teach children to “don’t mess around, not afraid of the thing”.”Can not afford to” baby, to cultivate every child is the treasure of parents, see the child is bullied, parents are always very heartache, both worried about the child will be injured, and afraid of affecting the child’s mental health.In fact, if you want to raise a child who will not be bullied, you need to make him a “troublemaker”.1, cultivate children’s brave character not only to let children have good character, do not take the initiative to bully others, but also to teach children when bullied, brave to face and resist, learn to protect themselves.At home, parents can simulate the scene.For example, adults play the role of the bad guy to bully children, see how children behave, take this opportunity to teach children to protect their important parts, or fight back skills.2, teach children to learn to refuse to obey, obedient children seem to be more liked by parents, but easy to form a pleasing personality, will not refuse, do not dare to resist when bullied.Parents should respect their children’s choice, teach them to refuse and safeguard their own rights and interests.For example, when children are playing with their own toys and other children want to play, parents should ask their children’s opinions. If the child does not agree, do not insist.3. Encourage children to make more friends. Children who are outgoing and sociable are less likely to be bullied.On the contrary, withdrawn and taciturn children are more likely to be “targeted” by bad children.Parents encourage their children to make more friends, learn to socialize and improve their peers’ communication skills.Many friends are easy to walk, even if bullied, popular children are easier to get help from friends, out of trouble in time.Write in the end: the child is bullied, parents’ vision and pattern, determine the child’s future.Lower order parents teach baby to say “it doesn’t matter”, higher order parents let baby “can’t afford to mess”.I hope every parent can deal with the problem objectively and calmly when the baby is bullied, and teach the baby to “not make trouble, and not afraid of things”.